Grumpy Old Gamer is a team of four: Al (that’s me), Andrew, Ethan, and Wayne. Between us, we’ve got decades of gaming experience, bad attitudes, and strong opinions. Some of us are genuinely old. All of us are definitely grumpy.
We’re not doing full bios (yet) or glowing intros. That’s not our style. Instead, we sent each host a bunch of questions to see what they’d come back with. Last and most likely least: Al.
1. What’s one game people won’t shut up about that you think is absolute rubbish?
Fortnite. It’s a sugar-coated slot machine dressed up as a shooter. The gunplay is floaty, the building mechanic turns every fight into a panic-induced tower of nonsense, and the whole thing feels like it was designed by a marketing committee with ADHD.
It’s not even a game anymore, it’s a billboard. One minute you’re fighting a banana in a suit, the next you’re watching an Ariana Grande concert inside a collapsing rift. What does any of it mean? Nothing. It’s just noise.
I get why kids love it. It’s colourful, chaotic, and throws shiny things at you every five minutes. But for anyone looking for substance or actual gameplay depth, it’s exhausting. It’s the gaming equivalent of scrolling TikTok at 3am. Hollow, loud, and somehow still going.
2. What’s something modern games do that makes you roll your eyes every single time?
Hand-holding tutorials. I miss the days when they said, “here’s the manual on how to play” and then I got to play. Extra shade if the tutorial is unskippable for forms part of the campaign.
3. What was the last game that genuinely surprised you—for better or worse?
Tempest Rising. A superb (and I hate saying this!) ‘love letter’ to the Command and Conquer games of the late 90’s, so right up my street. Playing it feels like Command and Conquer did way back when, except it’s updated with modern graphics and killer sound design. Excellent!
4. If a game loses you in the first hour, what’s usually the reason?
It’s a broken, clunky, unfinished mess. It’s sold as a finished product but really its still in the beta phase. I don’t mind testing games, but tell me it’s a beta test, don’t sell it as done.
5. What’s a game you’ve played to death but wouldn’t recommend to anyone else?
Stellaris. With almost 7000 hours on record it’s my second most played game. But you do need to be running a super-computer to get through the end-game lag. I can’t recommend it.
6. You’ve got one evening free and zero responsibilities. What do you play?
With myself… What!?
That’s a difficult decision. Stellaris has been my most recent time-sink. I love the slower pace. It doesn’t demand quick reflexes or constant attention. I am also partial to a black through Half-Life 2 or Portal (which is tight enough to be completed in an evening).
7. What’s your biggest gaming regret? Money wasted, time lost, or a save file gone forever?
Cities Skylines 2 – loved the first one like it was my first-born child. Pretty damned incredible experience. I have played *checks* 7653.7 hours.
The sequel was a shadow of the original. Barely any content, missing Steam Workshop support, broken and bullshit at launch.
8. What do you miss most about the way games used to be made or sold?
Big box PC games. Actual manuals. The smell. Discs. Paper maps. Physical collectors editions. Owning the bloody thing. Not needing to sign a EULA just to play a game.
9. Just how grumpy are you on a scale of one to ten?
E L E V E N
